Confession: I am a workout snob.
It’s not my fault. It’s how I was raised. Or rather, it was how I spent my formative high school and college years.
Let me explain.
I played college basketball. Not well, mind you. But I was on a Division I women’s basketball team, which means my four years in college were spent participating in all things basketball-related, whether they were mandatory or “voluntary.” A typical day in pre-season looked like this:
- Wake up;
- Go to class;
- “Voluntary” weights for an hour and a half;
- Go back to class;
- Conditioning (not a silent killer; just a flat-out killer);
- Open gym;
Somewhere in there, I ate. Terrible food. And lots of it. All told, I spent approximately 4-5 hours a day working out. Which gave me free license, I thought to put whatever food I wanted into my body, because food was food was food. And food was fuel. Ergo, confetti cake was the perfect food to eat after a marathon gym session because it was…food.
My college days left me with a two-fold problem: 1) I thought that to get a quality workout, I needed to spend at least 4-5 hours sweating my ass off doing exercises I loathed, and B) I had no idea how to eat properly so that people could actually tell I had spent 4-5 hours sweating my ass off doing exercises I loathed.
Which brings me to today’s workout: Booty. Quickly, some logistics: It was again 2 sets of 15, where you go all the way through all the exercises, then go back through them all again. There were again 5 series:
- Glute Bridge;
- Quad Ped;
- Side Lying;
- Standing; and
The only equipment needed? Resistance Loops.
Here, friends, is where my workout snobbery kicked in my first time doing this workout: I thought there was no way in hell I could get anything remotely resembling a good workout without either using weights or losing half my body weight in water while jumping. As this workout requires neither of those options, I was prepared to write off Booty as another way to get some new Beachbody sucker to spend more money on over-priced Beachbody products (i.e. those loops).
My face in the photo below should tell you otherwise.
This workout is deceptively hard. You spend most of the workout off your feet, so you think, “no sweat, I got this!”
And then you get to the 12th rep and your ass is on fire and your legs are shaking and you have sweat dripping off your face onto the carpet and you’re cursing both Autumn Calabrese and her damn resistance loops from hell and wondering how the fuck you’re supposed to make it through ANOTHER round.
But then, suddenly, you’re done, and for the first time ever your butt feels slightly swollen following a workout. Not like sick swollen, but SWOLE swollen. The good kind.
Booty in Phase 1 with your friend. This workout lures you in and lulls you to sleep with the promise of of doing the majority of the exercises either on your back or on your side or on your hands and knees. There’s no running or jumping or heavy lifting. It’s all concentrated movements that focus on specific muscles. It is the perfect switch-up from the full body intensity that is total body core, and the jump-rope heavy plyometrics that is tomorrow’s workout. It is absolutely do-able, and it’s a good reminder that you don’t need to go crazy on a treadmill or in the gym in order to get a quality workout.
I learned this the first time I did the Booty workout, and I was reminded of it today when I went back to Basics with Day 2 in Phase 1. It was like hanging out with an old college friend after a decade apart and not missing a beat of conversation.
But then that friend pretty much pushes you into a pile of dog shit while walking; because you go to sit down on the toilet and almost fall off because it turns out those muscles aren’t quite up to the task of a controlled lower to the porcelain throne.
Which, frankly, is the mark of an amazing workout. And a super unfunny friend.
One last pearl of wisdom before I close up shop for the night: Two days in, you may be feeling sore and suffering from terrible cravings. You may be wondering if this will get better and if you should continue to do this.
Yes, this will get better. I promise. But it will take work.
Yes, you should continue to do this. It is worth it. But it will be work.
Tomorrow, if you are doubting your resolve or ability, promise yourself that you will at least put on your gym clothes. Promise yourself you will then at least go to the gym or hit play in the living room. Promise yourself to then at least do the warm-up, because you’re going to be sore, and the warm-up will at least loosen you up and make you feel better. Then, if you do that and you do feel better, promise yourself you will at least TRY the first move in Cardio Core, just to see what it’s like.
Just try it. Take small steps to see how you feel. Because I guarantee those small steps will make you feel way better than you anticipated, and before you know it, you will have Day 3 in the bag.
But, until then, be careful going to the bathroom.
Link below for more info on the Beachbody stuff. Oh, and don’t skimp on the resistance loops. They are high quality and absolutely worth the price, and you will probably go through 2 sets of them during a single round of 80 Day Obsession. I know I did.